i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
