plz talk dirty to me
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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