Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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