I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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