peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
