I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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