Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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