Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
