Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
