i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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