Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
