Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
