I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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