i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I will pee on everything he values.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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