Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
