My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
