No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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