Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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