well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
