after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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