I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
