I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
