$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You made out with two different species that night
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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