Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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