haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
