I feel like abortions should bother me more
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
