Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
