i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think your dad took our porno
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
