I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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