Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
