and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize