i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How does one acquire holy water?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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