Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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