Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
