Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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