I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
