I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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