I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
