We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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