youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
