thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
