I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
