so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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