Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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