Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
you made out with another girl for some wings
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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