theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
