honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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