her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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