Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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