I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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