Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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