If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
