In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
