ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
