Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
