why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
