Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
