How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
