yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
