my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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