I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
