There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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