it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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