can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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