its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
