shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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